Jesus Christ said, “It is written, My house shall be called a house of prayer.”

Doing Marriage God’s Way, Part 5 — Ephesians 5:25-27 (Revive the Family, Revive the Church, Awaken the Nation, O Lord #29)


A series of homilies on Ephesians 5 & 6

A homily is “a short talk on a religious or moral topic; a usually short sermon; a lecture or discourse on or of a biblical theme.”

I am sharing a verse-by-verse series of short messages on Ephesians 5 & 6 (as well as other passages of Scripture) specifically targeted at reviving families and encouraging and exhorting husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children to do what God has commanded them to do, for if the church is to be revived and the country is to be awakened, the family must be revived first.

Ephesians 5:25-27:

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.


The reason why most men do not love their wives is because they don’t fear God. Men need to stop fearing their wives and fear God. Gentlemen, to help you out, here is a verse that should strike fear of God in your heart:

“The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”

The word treacherously means to be unfaithful, untrustworthy, deceptive, unreliable, and/or unkind.

The main reason why you ought to love your wife and treat her right is not because you fear her but because you fear God. Rest assured, God is watching and He is a witness between you and your wife, and if you are mean and hateful, treacherous, unkind, or abusive to your wife, God will deal with you, because He is your Head. And if you know what is good for you, you had better submit under Him. Pastor Rodney Queen told me years ago that if it was up to him, he would have divorced his wife a long time ago but that was not an option because he feared God and wanted to keep God’s blessings on his life. And if many Christian men were honest, this would probably be their testimony as well for I know it is mine.

C.S. Lewis said, “Ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

Leonard Ravenhill said, “If we will do God’s work in God’s way at God’s time with God’s power, we shall have God’s blessing.”

The instructions on the husband’s responsibility in the home begin with a simple command: “Husbands, love your wives.” And, just as the model of wifely submission is found in Christ’s relationship with the Church, so is the model of the husband’s love found in Christ’s relationship with the Church. The husband is to love his wife “even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

What does it mean for a man to love his wife as Christ loved the Church? Well, this verse is not talking about a romantic love or even a friendly love. The word used for love is “agape”, which refers to love in a moral sense. It is not concerned with feelings or reciprocity. It does not love just to be loved in return. William Barclay said, “Agape has to do with the mind: it is not simply an emotion which rises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we deliberately live.”

Husbands are to choose to love their wives at all times just as Christ has chosen to love us without ceasing. Just as wifely submission is not contingent upon a husband’s behavior, the husband’s love for his wife is not contingent upon her behavior. Jesus Christ loved us when we were yet sinners; and now that we are saved, He still loves us, even when we disobey Him sometimes.

Agape love is consistent and steady, while romantic love can come and go just as your feelings come and go. Jesus’ love for us drove Him to sacrifice. Paul says, “he gave himself”; Jesus put his life on the line for us. A husband should be willing to do the same for his wife. Giving himself does not mean that a husband gives in to his wife’s every demand or wish, or let’s her have her way all of the time. As we all should know by now, showing agape love to your wife may mean saying no to her. But true love and sacrifice on the husband’s part means that he is going to love her, sacrifice for her, and provide for her, even when she is disobedient, rebellious, and unlovely

Let’s pray.